Abundant Living Counseling

Stop having the same fight.

Most couples don't need to learn to argue better. They need to understand what the argument is really about. My work with couples is informed by Emotionally Focused Therapy and Gottman approaches, and it's online, across California.

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A couple sitting close together on a sofa, hands near each other, talking with a counselor on a laptop video call.
  • "We keep having the same argument with different words."
  • "We're good at logistics. We've lost each other."
  • "I reach out and you pull away." (Or the reverse.)
  • "We're not sure we can fix this, but we want to try before we decide."

Couples come to me at many points: in the middle of a rough season, after a rupture, before a big decision, or because things feel flat and they'd like to feel close again.

The topic (money, chores, family, time) is rarely the real issue. Underneath is usually a cycle: one person protests or pursues, the other withdraws or shuts down, and both end up feeling alone and misunderstood.

Once you can see the cycle, you stop fighting each other and start working on it together.

My couples work is informed by two research-backed approaches: Emotionally Focused Therapy, which focuses on emotional connection and attachment, and Gottman approaches, which offer practical tools for communication and conflict. I'm continuing to deepen my training in both, and I'm not claiming formal certification in either.

In practice, that means we slow the conversation down, name the pattern, make room for what each of you is actually feeling, and practice new ways of reaching for each other. Faith can be part of this if it matters to you, and left out if it doesn't.

I want to be straightforward: insurance often does not cover couples therapy, because most plans require a diagnosis for one person. Some plans do offer relationship counseling benefits, and some people use insurance for individual therapy that addresses relationship-related concerns.

Self-pay for couples therapy is $250 per session. Read the full explanation, including questions to ask your plan.

Related

Start with a conversation about what you two are facing.

Tell me what's bringing you in, ask me anything about faith, insurance, or how I work, and we'll talk through how to get started together.

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Referring someone to therapy? Information for pastors, clinicians, and community partners.

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